Lawyer Gal's Blog

A Young Lawyer's Perspective

Want a job where you can lie but be lauded a hero? Become a police detective.

You wouldn’t think “liar” and “hero” go together…unless it involves police work. Then society loves you, even though any successful detective will tell you that arrests come about from trickery and the Game Theory.

Ok, I’ll admit, I have a few Facebook friends who are cops and are probably irked with my writing. Sorry about that, boys.  Then again, if you are reading this, you’ve knowingly entered into the Sarah Hulburt realm of incredible disgust towards many police practices. And lying to some poor sap just to get an arrest tops that list.

Here’s a little example [facts/scenario changed, but same idea].

 I got a call from a  dude – of course in trouble.  He is a really cool, chill hispanic dude. He’s not the sort of guy that has done anything really bad, but he has a bit of a record. (It happens. I know you all have a friend who is a chill dude with a record.)

Anyway, the source of his problems are a vengeful ex-gf.  If I’ve learned one kernel of advice to give to dudes, it’d be: don’t date someone tempermental or territorial.  While it may seem fun at the time, I doubt an indictment will provide the same satisfaction.

So his ex-gf calls the cops on him and basically says she is the straw purchaser of the gun.  In gun lingo, a straw purchaser is someone that can legally buy a gun.  You can’t buy a gun if you have a felony conviction, but a straw purchaser is a way to sort of…circumvent it.  It’s a big risk, because it is potentially a federal charge.  Anyway, this guy has a felony failure to pay child support.  Hardly seems like a felony to me, but hey, I’m not a law maker.

I don’t think he ever bought a gun for her…I think she’s just pyscho.  But my blog on nut case women who get their men arrested will have to wait another day.  Nonetheless, the detectives began investigating.  Investigation in their terms is: call the poor guy, threaten to issue a felony warrant for weapons under disability unless he hands over the gun. [On a legal note, WUD charge means you are either a mental person or a felon who has a weapon.  Those people aren’t supposed to, and it’s a very serious felony charge.]  Then, allegedly, they won’t go after him.

Yah fricking right.  A cop who won’t go after someone..good one.  All they have is a case [lack thereof]

          1. completely lacking in evidence except a crazy ex’s statement;

           2. that would be extremely difficult for the state to prove BRD.

Which, in lay terms, means: the cops want to arrest this dude, but knowing they have a extremely poor case evidentially, they decide to lie and threaten in hopes he will confess.

And with the elusive promise of leniency, the gentle persuasion that “if you aren’t guilty, then why can’t you talk to us?” and the feigned “I understand your situation and want to help you,” cops earn their living.

Yet as my former boss and top defense attorney always said, there is never anything good that can come from talking to police.  And as far as people’s desire to talk so as to “clear my name,” do you think that pretty little felony indictment that comes as a result will earn you a People’s Choice Award?

No, you see, that award is reserved for lying heros.

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May 27, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized

1 Comment »

  1. i couldn’t be a cop because i couldn’t enforce laws that i don’t believe in.

    Comment by jimmy the weed | May 28, 2010 | Reply


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