Lawyer Gal's Blog

A Young Lawyer's Perspective

How knowing a little law got me a free case of Sam Adams

I have a remarkable, if not innate, ability to find bargains and get stuff for free. If I were to write a self-help booklet [ask yourself, if you could write a self-help book on something you are really adept at, what would it be?  It tells you a lot about yourself], it’d be something along the lines of “Money: I’d rather spend it on beer than bills.”   Beer can be replaced with whatever hedonistic activity in which you partake, obviously assuming it costs money on a legal free market. 

So my dearest readers, I shall impart upon you one of the tips in my future self-“improvement” [indeed, readily available beer often enhances oneself in the eyes of others] guide: How I snatched a free case of Sam Adams.

Along with my mad skills for frugality, I am also rather audacious [whether this is a virtue or a fault will be determined by my eulogy].  My theory has always been that it isn’t the “good” guys and gals who finish last, but the timid ones.  So, in order to get free beer, you need to engage a certain level of boldness/and or take a shot. 

*It should be noted that this ploy only worked for me because I was of age to actually buy beer. 

*I was dressed in a t-shirt, shorts, flip-flops and had my hair in a pony tail.  I’m quite confident the results would have come out differently had I been age-appropriate accoutrement.

*The set-up of the super market made the result feasible.  A costumer service desk sat directly next to the entrance and a few yards from the check out lines.

*I bought a pack of Sam Adams at the customer service desk, off-handedly threw the receipt away, and merrily strolled past the check out lines towards the exit.  After all, it was going to be a GOOD night.

*An overly vigilant store employee stopped me, accused me of stealing, and requested my receipt.  I, of course, did not have one.  So in her wisdom, she took me to a back room, sat me down, and brought in store security.  [Apparently, a 5’3, 125 lb gal in flip-flops poses a great risk that could lead to an imminent breach of security.]

*As I sat listening to these workers, I greatly wondered whether the store’s motto for customer service included locking young people – the very future of the beer industry- in small rooms.  I also wondered if the tort case I had read where an old guy was held in a room for allegedly stealing a scarf at a department store applied to my situation.  The old guy ended up suing the store because he had in fact worn the scarf into the store. So I, in my audacity, decided to sit around and let them figure out that I had bought the beer.

*I didn’t tell them where I had bought the beer [at customer service], as they never asked.  I just stared at them vapidly when they accused me of stealing.  Ladies, never be hesitant to employ the vapid look, if you can pull it off in the requisite situation.

*Somehow, they realized that the security tape might shed light on the underlying facts.  Upon review of the tape, they sheepishly admitted their foul, and Audacious Sarah came out.

*-Always ask for the manager.  Managers get flustered and are the last modicum of customer service.  And plus, it shows you are ready to game.

* “Mr. I-feel-bad-that-you-are-a-manager-and-have-to-deal-with-this-crap-but-I-want-free-beer, I am a student and I understand the meaning of false-imprisonment.  You arguably have done just that, and I am inclined to make a call to headquarters to put in a formal complaint.  Also, your employees actions have completely removed all of my loyalty to your store, as well as my family’s.  Until you can give me a token to restore this faith, I will never shop here again, and I will eventually blog about this incident when I am a lawyer [j/k].  What can you do to remedy this?”

*Well, the manager was a bit taken off guard.  Little girl apparently wasn’t so vapid after-all, and she had a big mouth to wit.  So he said “what do you think I should do?”

*”Give me a gift certificate for the value of the product I bought today.”

For about 20 minutes of my time, I ensured my night would not only be fun, but free. 

So I suppose in summary, I can say: be bold, be assertive, and drink good beer.


May 16, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | 1 Comment